RUDOLPH'S SHINY NEW YEAR (1975) **1/2 In which Rudolph strives to find and save Happy the New Year. Really. Yeah, and so he goes to this archipelago of New Years that got old, or...it's kind of complicated, actually. Suffice to say that source material varies between the Old Testament story of Jonah and Goldilocks and the Three Bears, and the veneer on top of the source material is a thin one indeed. But don't Santa's magical reindeer fly? So why can't Rudolph engage in an aerial battle against the evil buzzard-looking Eon? You know, like Rodan and Ghidora. Instead at least we get a caveman, a knight and Benjamin Franklin. Also, desperado subtext ciphers should waste time on the concept of the evil Eon, juxtaposed against gnostic interpretation with horiopolitical implications. There's no doubt a special lounge in heaven for those who persist in foisting this sort of hokey old-fashioned music on others. It's so innocuous as to be more stupefying than soporific. Things finally come to a head, of sorts, when Rudolph determines that they need to get to town before “twelve bongs,” which is good advice whatever coursers may be flying by. It's important to take some time out every Christmas break for casually drifted acts like this, and just knowing you have the time inclines you towards enjoying them. Good thing, too, they can use the push!
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