SPIDER-MAN (2002) ** Tobey Macguire successfully demonstrates why not everyone should be a superhero. A superhero's primary duty; foremost, before even do-gooding, is to be interesting. Young Tobey has spider powers up the yin-yang (the abilities to gloriously spray spider webs and swing on them, jump about in an entirely disaffected manner, climb up sheer skyscrapers, and, best of all but neglected in the film-a precognitive spider sense!), and he's still the dullest guy in the film. Yes, I understand that Peter Parker was supposed to be a science nerd, but he was of the magnitude that could make science interesting to the uninitiated. Instead, MacGuire's Parker offers compelling evidence that a nerd's a nerd no matter what, and so, mortally and effectively dull if not entirely useless. It doesn't help that Sam Raimi lets the film get on into its second hour before the kid even realizes that he's Spider-Man. The epiphany is at the sort of wrestling convention that is now commonplace among the lower American life forms, but that Stan Lee could have only dreamed of during Spidey's formative days. It's a grand punch-scene, but not worth 75 minutes to set up. Even passing familiarity with Lee's work breeds further contempt with the film: why does Kirsten Dunst have to be MJ? Why can't she be Gwendolyn Stacey, and thereby avoid that hideous burnt red dye #248? It's at least as bad as most of the other things that they send at her, and even Spider-Man couldn't save her from that! Willem Dafoe has groovin' transport as the Green Goblin, but his contributions are limited. The only character, in fact, who lives up to the admittedly high standards set by the comic books is J. K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson, the newspaper editor. The computer graphic scenes of Spidey flompin' and flippin' above the yellow cabs coloring the streets of New York are also cool. Some scenes were added and omitted in the wake of the 9/11 terrorist atrocities, and that editing should not pass without comment. The additional scene of the New Yorkers pelting the Goblin with debris, shouting "If you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us!" is tremendous, probably the best scene of the film. It is aimed, clearly, at the probably oblivious al-Qaeda agents in our midst, but might also be seen as the herd's repudiation of the bullshit being dumped on them by the media. The American dream is alive, but necessarily seeks new outlets in the changing winds of history. In a similar vein, but one which evokes less subjective cynicism, consider the scene of the triumphant friendly neighborhood Spider-Man against a back-drop of Old Glory. Is this scene crass (or if you prefer, successful) commercialism at its worst, playing on the dumb emotions of the masses; OR is it a statement of heartfelt solidarity in a time of trial and tribulation-a cartoonist pitching in to the chorus of patriotism in the only way he knows how? It's the latter, and I'm proud to say that I've always been proud of the form of rugged individualist mutant Americanism represented by Spider-Man, too. For purposes of this film, though-if only they could have given Tobey a cool sidekick, like Captain America's buddy, the Falcon. Of course the closing scene, like the conclusion of any soap opera episode, couldn't more clearly threaten a sequel, so they'll get another chance.
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