THE RETURN OF THE PINK PANTHER (1975) *** Peter Sellers was an alchemist, especially as Clousseau, able to turn the most mundane situations of human mediocrity into hilarious celebrations of genius, all with a simple eyebrow or nose flex. A big fake nose helps of course, as do a vacuum cleaner, fake fu manchu, exploding toilet, poolman suit, false beard, breaking down telephone van, the ever loyal attacking Cato (Burt Kwouk) and an anal and frustrated straight-man boss on the verge of every kind of 'plosion ever conceived (Herbert Lom). It's a pity that tanned poolside Christopher Plummer was never cast in a James Bond role-he dressed hipper though still GQ to the extent such a thing is possible, the sense of greatness came more easily, he's actually credible as a sophisticated tough guy and he is able to effortlessly project a sense that something very funny is about to happen. It defies imagination that Catherine Schell didn't become a huge star-she absolutely radiates both elegance and intellect, even while being hit on by Clousseau in a hotel disco. I guess it's the intellect that doused her career. And suave?! They were both role models for an era of decay, he because that's what dudes thought the chicks wanted, she because she knew better. With so much talent and a budget to take it from Gstaad to Morocco to the Riviera, Blake Edwards mainly just had to sit back and let the cameras roll and do a little clipping if Clousseau's facial features came off when they weren't supposed to. Unfortunately one of the scenes he clipped involved Julie Andrews as a chambermaid. Now what would Mary Poppins do to the feeble and filthy Frenchman to set him right? Or perhaps, what would a handsome and debonair worldly class sleuth do to broaden her horizons? Probably the greatest opening credits in history, and one of the most consistently funny films, one belly laugh per four minutes minimum, from there on out.
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