BIRD ON A WIRE (1990) *1/2 Goldie Hawn is one of the most under-rated comedic actresses of her generation (versatility-not much, but you can't find better long suits than charm and personality), and that she allows herself to appear in films like this is a main reason why. I can see her agent getting all confused and thinking that this might be good for her, but I don't understand her not responding "yeah, let me see it again after four or five major rewrites." America tries to come to terms with what it lost by ever allowing the sixties to end...fair premise, we've had a few of those...with the added bonus of the film trying to feel like it was made in that era (making fun of cops, danger with no angst, macho posturing, female shrieking). About halfway through the script loses what precious little momentum it had and they run around getting shot at in an Amazon theme park section of a zoo in one of the duller shootouts in recorded film history. It's not just the writers either, Mel Gibson finally gets out of his absurd ponytail but he never gets into character...into any character, a partyer, or a lover, or a bad dude...he just kind of runs around all doofy acting like his ass got shot in tight jeans. For her part Goldie has difficulty finding a scene that she doesn't want to hang her ass out of and stretch her legs across. No small entertainment value there I guess, but the drama never lives up to the opening scene where barefoot and bare chested David Carradine comes out of jail looking like Kung Fu. For its myriad weaknesses there are truths to be found: there may not be lawyers out there as beautiful, intelligent, and effervescent as Goldie, but there are smart and decent-looking ones who would gladly trade in what they have for a gamble at anything else, or at least like to think that they would; and leading a life of integritous running does leave a trail of friends still wanting to help you out and lamenting what could have been. Whatever was lost was lost, and story lines like this only bury it more.
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